From the Yogi Yorgesson songs, a VR track, for some chuckles, giggles maybe a laugh or two.

My little woman read a book
that tells what food is right
For us to eat so we'll stay young
and slim and full of fight.

Now I get lousy meals all day
and no food late at night.
Life ain't sweet when I can't eat
cookies, pie, and cake.

My wife says this new diet food
will make us young and cute.
She says that we'll feel better
eating vegetables and fruit.

By bedtime every evening
I could eat a rubber boot.
For goodness' sake, I wish she'd make
some cookies, pie, and cake.

I am eating health food that
is served in gooey masses,
Stuff like powdered yeast and yoghurt,
thick stuff with molasses.

My wife she says she's losing weight;
she'll soon look young and chic,
But she has only lost about
two ounces er'ry week.

She thinks that she's reducing,
but she's just got a slow leak.
Her girdle's tight without a bite
of cookies, pie, and cake.

SPOKEN:

Since the little woman read this book
about looking better and feeling younger,
My stomach suffers in two ways: ja,
from nausea and from hunger.

She fixes awful messes of wheat germ,
powdered milk, and peanut oil.
She never fries me anything,
'cause the book says, "Don't fry; boil."

I like fried liver for my lunch.
She boils it; she won't fry it.
Oh, I just hate her, and she hates me,
since we've been on this diet.

At dinner when she gets the
health food down from off the shelf,
I sit and eat those soybeans
and mumble bad words to myself.

She uses herbs that grow out vest
on those mountains called Tujunga's
And with those herbs she makes a cake
that tastes and smells like fungus.

She says: "Skinny Bulgarians eat sour cream,
and that's what we both need."
I say: "Nuts to skinny Bulgarians;
I'm a fat pie-eating Swede!"

"The diet book says you won't live long.
Eat right. It's now or never!"
I say: "Diets are for knuckleheads.
I don't want to live forever!"

sing:
Now wife she says that vitamins
will make me sing and dance.
She's hoping hormones and peptones
will give love one more chance.

But if I get my cake and pie,
I'll do without romance.
Oh, give me food! I'm in the mood
for cookies, pie, and cake.